Firstly sorry for bad english (not my first language) and secondly I don’t know if this question is related to privacy or not but I think it does relate to how privacy might mentally affect you!
So, I have been following this privacy journey since 8 months, and I have did everything like switching to duckduckgo, running local LLMS, deleting all META social media accounts, utilizing brave & Firefox and Protonmail. However I just watched the new google I/O event and many big events from similar companies and I feel like their new technologies are just awesome.
Like new video model from Google, OPENAI, that new AI robot home cleaner, and a lots of different technologies (NOT Exclusive to AI ONLY) these big tech release every year! But Here I am who is avoiding all these tech by not using the and sticking to privacy respecting options.
Since, I love software and trying new technologies and integrating them in my lives, but I know how these technologies collect troves of sensitive data! So by avoiding them I feel like a I’m having a FOMO big time!
So my question is for any software enthusiast (not only open source software enthusiast but for any new software in general), how do you guys deal with FOMO like this where you want to try this new tech, but you can’t as it’s not privacy respecting.
As for me personally, I am just suffering with feeling of FOMO and my inner desperation for trying new software and everyday it brings me closer to destroy my privacy regimen that I have continued since 8 months. Any advice?
As an engineer and once a young Google fanboy I think I understand what you mean. While I don’t really feel FOMO I do often hesitate and consider long before giving into something. But I realized this makes me make well thoughtful decisions.
It seems you are very hype focused to me, perhaps you are relatively a young person. It could probably help to avoid a bit more social media and spend more things that really matter in life. While it might seem to you the world is moving fast and you are missing out on it. Try to put things in perspective. Most things don’t go by that quickly. Society changes much slower. I personality don’t feel the necessity any more to be a frontrunner in all technology fields. Focus a bit more on stability rather than the hype. I was a lot like that but I can assure you life is a bit more relaxed than that.
I also experiment a lot with AI as I find it fascinating and I do such in somewhat contained capacities. Not directly putting all my health details into it (like many people and practitioners do). Perhaps you can pick a few topics you want to follow all developments on, to be an expert in, and leave the rest to others.
No. I see technology as something that should help me and make my life easier and better, for good price if possible. And I see no such thing on the market. There might be some work related, but it’s not up to me if I’ll get to use it or not. And health related, but luckily, I still don’t need anything there.
I was more enthusiastic 20 years ago, but in last 5-10 years, I see no benefit. Steam Deck is a good device, worth having. Besides that, I’m totally fine with 10y/o PC, 5y/o phone and 15y/o software UI, design and capabilities (VLC, Clementine, Zim wiki…).
Regarding AI, I use it sometimes, but for my use-case (not coding), I don’t find it more useful than standard search.
Yes, I am a young software engineer, just finished by college and is looking for my first job as a software developer and man these new technologies and demos just fascinates me a lot. While I’m not a hype focused person and not a great fan of social media but yes, I am constantly looking for new software, new innovations and when I stumble on the privacy policy of those pages, then starts an inernal war inside of me, a war between giving up privacy and checking out this awesome technology or meh, just watch demo and protect my privacy. But as an Engineer I think you’re spot on, where I am coming from.
I also never put any health detail in the AI till date, I would prefer a privacy respecting search engine with VPN or Tor for any medical stuff, but for programming, making some creative images, I really admire what these big tech companies do and FOMO developed.
As for focusing on stability and not on hype, I will try to do that. Yes, you’re right change takes time. I think while I consider myself not a hype person but after reading your response, I think I realize, I am somewhat an hype focused person. Thanks for this perspective tho!
Ah, judging from your response, I guess you’re not excited too much about new releases or new things on the market. You feel content and grateful for what you have. Man U wish, I could develop this trait in myself. Thanks for your perspective tho.
Wow, 5 y/o phone? My phone is just 2 y/o old and I’m already feeling sad as why I don’t have that cutting edge piece of tech! Maybe I am more of a person who likes to be on cutting edge all the time!
I am an avid technology fan and use many up to date or bleeding edge tech where possible. Using aliases to sign in for AI and/or running a local model allows you to enjoy this. AI as tool can be effective in increasing efficiency when used properly.
You can also balance out what needs to be private, how private you prefer to be, and where you may be ok making a compromise for bettering your life as you mentioned above.
I personally prefer a bit more secure approach over the strict privacy approach for some things. I ensure health, banking, photos and PII tend to be pretty locked where possible but I still user social media, AI tools, sign up for alpha and beta testing software (games, ai, etc). I have accounts for applications I used to communicate with China for work and I try and keep that separate from personal.
I also use my pseudonym for everything online that isn’t strictly banking or personal.
Man, you really resonated with me too much. I also use aliases to use some services but most nowadays no longer allow aliases and require a valid phone number. Since my country doesn’t allow a burner simcard, I can’t signup without a phone number. This is caused me to stay away from many services and not logging into it.
I remember when ChatGPT and Claude first came, they required a valid phone number, everyone from my college signed up for service except me. I used my friends account for some time, till these companies dropped phone number requirement and I signed up using simplelogin alias.
I signed up for Google Voice using one of my alias accounts and used a virtual number as verification. This worked well for needing a phone number verification.
I have heard there are other ways to purchase numbers from a pool as VOIP in order to keep you anonymous where possible by not asking for PII.
Many people have comments about this regarding Signal needing a phone number within this forum.
So maybe browse what they have to state regarding this.
I find that my privacy, security, and environmental preferences neutralize most Big Tech FOMO, and I mostly get FOMO for new privacy and security products. If you haven’t noticed, this has resulted in my tendency to mention things like secureblue and Nym in discussions.
I definitely get FOMO, but not necessarily because a technology is new. There are many apps that I wish to use or fully explore, but I don’t because I fear of how it might compromise my privacy.
For eg, Reddit. There are so many subs I wish to participate in and find community in, but I don’t because it would reveal something about myself to Reddit. It’s the same for Discord.
So many times, I wish to share personal things with people online who might be able to help me with a situation, but I don’t because it compromises my privacy. I know that a simple thing like sharing my location (city/country) could make a huge positive difference in finding people who are in the same location and share my interests. But I don’t. It sucks and is extremely isolating.
I envy the people who are comfortable doing that.
One way that I try to deal with this is to find websites that are exclusively dedicated to a specific topic. For eg, PG is all about privacy and security. I’m not gonna ask for dating advice here. But even in PG, I know that sharing some personal information about myself would make it easier for the right people to help me, but I don’t because I don’t want to compromise my privacy.
I totally understand you. I’ve been on this privacy journey for a while too, and honestly, FOMO hits hard sometimes especially when you love tech and innovation.
In fact, ever since I started following privacy forums and communities, I began to feel almost paranoid about my data. It got to the point where I was scared to even open Instagram or have personal conversations on WhatsApp. It became mentally exhausting.
These days, I try to manage that anxiety, but it’s tough especially when people are constantly debating about “the most private browser” or the most secure app setup. I even started using 2 or 3 different apps just to replicate what one Google app could do smoothly, and that wears you down.
For example, I don’t even like Brave that much, but Firefox on Android is painfully slow for image-heavy pages. I used to love Vivaldi for its features and performance, but once I realized it’s not fully open source, I started feeling guilty for using it instead of something like Brave.
I think the key is balance. Privacy is important, but so is mental health and enjoying technology. I’m trying to let go of the guilt and find peace using what works best for me, even if it’s not 100% “privacy-purist approved.”
You’re not alone in this. And you don’t have to destroy your privacy journey just redefine it in a way that keeps you both sane and satisfied.
Yeah, even I sometimes miss sharing some information on various platforms, but then reading the privacy policy of those websites and platforms stops me from doing that.
First of all, thank you for your really valuable insight, and secondly I think the balance is really required in this case. I am also very invested in new technology and innovation, and by following the privacy regime that I have created over months, have stopped me from trying out those new tech things, but now I think that I should reconsider the way I do stuff and really enjoy the things I like.
One suggestion is to cut back on the tech review channels/IG pages/magazines/etc. Their goal is to get you to buy new tech. I self host invidious and so I don’t get the recommendations algo that is in YouTube, and I unsubscribed from interesting tech creators like MKBHD so that the stuff I’m fed is less addictive)
I don’t know about ‘healthier’, but I have redirected a lot of my interest in buying new hardware to help my life → installing (free) software to help my life. Off the top of my head, things like:
Turning my used laptop into a server to replace Google Drive/Amazon Kindle/etc
Upgrading my computers from Windows → Linux and doing a deep dive into Linux is a tech experience in itself
Flashing OpenWRT on my used router
Getting LLMs to run on my devices without a GPU so that I can combine privacy w/ personalized results
Writing bash scripts to personalize my computers even further
Connecting my smartwatch to GadgetBridge to avoid sharing personal data
I think the joy I used to get w/ new purchases, I now get my optimizing the tools I have for increased privacy and a more personalized experience (which have become the two main goals once I stopped chasing the newest tech)
I think waiting for technology to mature can help with FOMO, at least for me personally. When ALL of my friends started using ChatGPT, I felt like I was the only one who wasn’t interested. I also thought I would never use ChatGPT, that is until DeepSeek blew up and I learnt that you can install LLMs locally. After installing DeepSeek through Ollama and comparing results with my friend who pays £20/m for ChatGPT, I no longer experience FOMO with AI (not that I cared before that). When technology matures, we often see better versions or better alternatives from better companies.
It sounds like you are too dependent on the internet to connect with people of similar interests. Instead try going to meetups or being a regular at some place where hobbies take place (e.g. gym, tennis court, park). Even if the interests don’t exactly align it can be worth making a connection.
You make some valid points. And I acknowledge that I am chronically online. But it’s not that simple. Many factors are in play. One of them is your location, which affects not just your chances of succeeding, but the number of opportunities you will get. I am aware of Meetup and have used it in the past. Then I moved to a different city, and there were practically no meetups for my interests in my new location.
Some interests are extremely niche in one location, and far less so in others. Privacy is one of them. And some interests are too wide to guarantee a connection with the right people. For eg, you may love fantasy, and specifically Game of Thrones. But millions of people like Game of Thrones. Most likely, many of them you wouldn’t like.
But I digress. I agree that I should probably go out more. But admittedly, in my current location, I’ve never met anyone who shared my interests. At the same time, I also know that if I opened up more to people online, I would probably connect with more people there too.
To me, it’s really not that complicated. If you feel fomo then just go and get new tech. When I was young I loved that shit, I always wanted the latest phone, etc. Now that I’m older, it really doesn’t matter to me. I suspect something similar may happen to you in a few years.
Not to mention that now I feel the enshittification more and more, it just turns me off. In my heyday tech actually got better and more exciting every year. Now? It’s the opposite. I am not a software dev but I’m a power user of many things and this is a customer take on this, your situation may be different.
Nobody is pressuring you to obey strict privacy preserving measures. You have to see what is important for you and what you enjoy, that’s kind of more important. If you want to trade certain privacy breaches for newer tech, it’s your life. And I’m not saying that in a negative or sarcastic way, not at all.
Just do and buy what you enjoy. Life is too short. Re-evaluate things from time to time. Do not make yourself submit to random rules just because you think they are good - make choices and tradeoffs for yourself.
Not to mention, it’s not like a yes/no thing where you have all the privacy or none. Compartmentalize things. Use one device for work, another for fun, same with software.
We are very invested in software on this site, and it is important. But after all, software is just a tool, and it depends on how you use it. You can have encrypted email but if your password is “dinosaursareawesome15”, well, it’s not of much use. It’s not software that’s gonna protect you, it’s yourself. And you can preserve some privacy by just changing your behaviour a bit, that’s it.
I’m not sure if its FOMO, but trying to be privacy focused does make things more difficult.
For example, I wanted to add cameras to my home. There’s a lot of objectively good offerings from Dahua and HikVision but those companies are privacy nightmares because of the CCP influence. Brands like AXIS, Hanwha, and Vivotek aren’t always affordable or easily accessible to non-dealers. That leaves few options in the way of IP camera systems for residential use, esspecially if you want to access the cameras remotely from an app.
Some other examples where living a private lifestyle can be difficult.
My spouse and I want to get a robot vacuum for our house. Not many options out there that are privacy friendly. It doesn’t take alot of research to find out about the privacy concerns of robot vacuums.
The jiu jitsu gym I train at doesn’t have a website, they post updates on their Facebook page. I don’t use Facebook for privacy reasons. There’s been a few occasions where I’ve driven to the gym on a day it was unexpectedly closed since I didn’t see the FB update stating they were closed that day.
So I don’t know if I have fear of missing out, but its a lifestyle option that does create some extra hurdles in daily life that non-privacy focused people don’t think about.