Please entertain the question to share ideas and awareness for those in this situation now or in the future.
Your kid is old enough that you feel they need to have a mobile device. With your stance and values on privacy and security, share what you’ve done, you plan to do, or wish you did.
Thanks for participating!
iPhone, we can share subscriptions and I can easily set parental controls. It’s a good balance of privacy and security IMO.
I think it’s going to be hard to have a better stance than this at the moment, but I’m really interested in seeing other perspectives and thoughts.
Fine, I would give them an RC car.
def gonna have to second this, if i were to ever have a child, an iphone is user friendly and can be configured to be quite private. now you just gotta figure out how to get them off social media….
Well I got tired of social media and stopped using all Big Tech platforms several years ago because of superficial drama and relationships, so my personal suggestion based on this is to let them experience the worst of what humanity has to offer until they eventually quit cold turkey. Note that this may not effectively work for individuals possessing addictive personalities or lack of self-esteem/self-respect.
Certainy personality dependent.
I’d give my kid the cheapest GrapheneOS phone. Before they get any phone, I would get them started with Linux so they can become more tech proficient. And they wouldn’t get a phone until 12 y/o. I wouldn’t block social media because of the forbidden fruit effect. I will watch their use carefully however, block porn/gore, and make sure they aren’t on the weird parts of the internet.
I’m not a parent.
Something with GrapheneOS along with a heavy dose of online safety education.
Just the laugh I needed after work today. Thanks.
How old are we talking here?
Enough to need a phone?
Moreover, what for? Using apps or calling in case of emergency?
I’m seeing too many parents spoiling their 12yo brats with the latest iPhone Pro for 1300€ where I live.
Kid gonna drop it because he’s careless and only uses it to flex/play games or scroll Twitter on it.
Hence why the need + age is also an important question here.
Cellular Apple Watch. It is minimal, enables calling emergency services and parents, parents can see their location, and parents can set up the watch under their management to allow/disallow other features/apps.
Owner profile long password only I know. Kid gets user profile. Use android ADB to remove vanadium, no appstores. If kid wants app, they need owner password. This prevents web browsing and installing apps that I don’t control.
This is what we did for my 12 yo.
I want to say they will get the full phone around 16 maybe 17. After they’ve learned to drive. I see the danger in that idea since I would be introducing a major distraction and accident creator to a new driver. 
I like the Apple Watch idea. Unfortunately I’ve never been able to convince any friends or family with kids around this age to even attempt this route, so I’m not sure how effective it is.
To me it will depend on the sort of kid(s) I have in the future. If I have a kid who is a nerd like me interested in technology in its own right, maybe I will figure out some way to handle it responsibly. Back when I was 5-6, I could spend all day on a Windows 95 laptop with no internet and no games besides Minesweeper and Solitaire, and open the Help menu of every application and read every single article in the Windows Help dialog, because that is the sort of weird-ass kid I was. But this is like a true passion for technology, and I would not get in the way of my kids’ passions.
However, it’s not a passion to want to scroll through and endlessly consume TikToks, or do any sort of other passive activity on a phone or computer. Social media, and many (but not all) video games are public health hazards in my opinion, and until that changes (which it won’t) I’d treat them as such. I’d buy them either a Pixel a-series or an iPhone e-series depending on what I’m most into at that time—and only because you need a smartphone for Signal—and lock them down to messaging and phone calls only.
People do often tell me I’ll change my mind when I do have kids this age, so I understand it’s not ideal for everyone, but this is the one hard line I think I will ever have, which is that technology will only ever be allowed to be used as a tool, never in a position where you are taking direction from technology.
I wouldn’t agree with the video games part. Maybe the mobile games and current multiplayers, but I think that games are helpful for kids’ development. I’m going to set up a library full of 90s-early 2010s games for my future kids to play.
Mostly mean the modern casino games (fortnite or anything with loot boxes etc). I wouldn’t restrict video games in general probably anyways, but I would probably restrict them on phones entirely.
To me it’s all about intentionality, and sitting down at a desktop or in front of a TV console to play a game is a lot different than whipping out your phone after you’re bored for 5 seconds.
Just make a good example by not using any social media yourself. Educate them on why you do this
I gave Apple Watch SE for speaking with us and tracking my kid’s location and iPad Air for games and school activities.
Some of my thoughts on this:
I don’t agree with the writer. Closely monitoring and dictating everything on kid’s digital habits is not a good way. Writer even dictates how to charge a phone. That is just wrong. Also they wrote that they gave their kid’s a ungoogled phone, why? Yes, it is good for privacy, but for the kids security should come first. Also giving a dumb phone a very bad idea. It has literally no purpose, apart from making calls and sending SMS.
I am with Apple in my case. I am using screentime to manage my kid’s apps, sites, calls. Phones are not allowed in the school, not even smart watches. So, my kid takes smart watch to school but leaves at dressing room, and wears after school ends. iPad is required for the school work, it is a bit mandatory. Same restrictions apply to iPad.
For internet management I am using DNS profile with Control D. It is more than enough for now.
Unless you restrict your kid a lot, disregard their wishes, they will align with you and won’t search for workarounds. You need to give them limits, but at the same time you need to explain why you are giving those limits. My kid can take iPad to the bed, but she won’t play anything. She listens to music and maybe 5-10 mins YT Kids watching, but that is it. Then she goes to sleep. iPad has 5G connection, but kiddo can call only me and wife. Some of her friends are using Whatsapp but I explained her what can happen, how people react and talk, and when she can get her own Whatsapp, and she understood. She is talking with her friends from our iPad when she is going to play something together, and doesn’t try to do anything else.
Education and understanding your kid is important. If you restrict them, they will do their best to overcome your restrictions.