To reframe my thoughts – if I wouldn’t or don’t use it as an adult, my children won’t either. The government doesn’t decide these things for me. My children will use VPNs.
Parents choose what to feed their children. How they are educated. Where they go. What they wear. Computers are an extension of this. If my 12yo daughter wants to wear a crop top like the neighbours 14yo the answer is no. I don’t care how many other children wear croptops. If they bully my daughter I’ll teach her to rise above it. If she comes home with sunburn I might look the other way. Children always rebel, I know that. Small concessions are neccesary. But it isn’t abusive, negligent, or irresponsible, to say no to Snapchat. It isn’t arbitrary either. My child (under 18) lives by my rules. If the situation changes we will adapt. My children will be loved and respected as individuaus. They will also resent me for it. I will offer an alternative or compromise whenever possible. But downloading WhatsApp isn’t allowed. I’d confiscate the phone. It is my property and I’ll make sure they understand that. Allowing my children to be groomed online isn’t an option.
I would encourage internet free private screen time for age appropriate activities. As long as they spend plenty of time outdoors they can play games indoors as much as they want. I am aware other teenagers will give them access to pornography. This is ineviatable but the longer I can protect them the better. This does not mean they will be soft or unusually vulnerable to addiction later in life. They will know happiness and prefer being around real friends.
I was over 18 when Snapchat became available. I didn’t own a smartphone. Yes I missed out on sending stupid selfies. Does that matter? No. I don’t use WhatsApp either. Do I miss out? Yes. Does it matter? A little. Can I live without it? Yes. Will my children be happy without it? Yes.