How is QubesOS as a desktop OS? Is it especially taxing and is it similar to using VMs on a traditional OS?

IIRC all performance optimizations are off in favor of safety.

The model of protecting the computer machine from unauthorized users is flipped in QubesOS: The user is trusted and the machine is distrusted with the assumption that attacks will come in from the computer. This is for when nation states will sizable budgets are after you…