The ultimate set of gadgets

Can’t post in off topic so here it goes; what would be the perfect assortment of (next-level privacy related) gadgets to carry, in what scenarios would they be most beneficial and why?

In terms of gadget I’m thinking something that looks like a common item; a watch, a key, a pair of glasses, etc. but equipped with a selection of hidden features like:
battery, solar panel, (powerful) processor, accelerometer, camera, laser, tazer, screen, projector, notification light, IoT sim card, radio, wifi, signal jammer, quantum-proof encrypted Ventoy retractable USB cord (with software that can be plugged into any pc / smartphone and boot in a split second with secure terminal, storage, web + uncensored llm access), etc.

Leaving you to fill in the specifics plus how and why to set it up, real world James Bond kind of stuff.
Bonus points for creativity + details & vehicle, outfit, crew, mission, weapons, etc. rooted in real scenarios.
(Minus points for lack of creativity, complaints, paranoia, etc.)