HI there, I have just read your thread.
I think Synology is generally the best choice for privacy and security, with Asustor as a good alternative, while QNAP still has lingering security concerns despite recent improvements.
For secure NAS access, use a VPN like Tailscale instead of port forwarding. Synology and Asustor UIs are consistent across models, and both support ID3 tags for song ratings in their audio apps. TerraMaster offers a budget-friendly option but lacks the security polish of Synology and Asustor.
Thank you,
Mike Taku.